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AFTER THE BIG SALE
What happens after you land a three book publishing deal? This journal tells all, chronicling my first few months as a full time writer.

An edited version of this appeared in the June 2004 edition of Writer's Digest Magazine, and a follow up called After the Book Comes Out will appear in Fall 2005.

Until then, here's the full, unexpurgated version of what happened right after I got the call...
 
 
12/2/2002
My agent, Jane Dystel, calls with amazing news; Hyperion has made a six-figure offer for my first mystery novel, Whiskey Sour, and the next two books in the Lt. Jack Daniels series. I run around screaming for several minutes. This prompts a call from my neighbors, who are concerned I'm being murdered.

My wife, who has stood by side for nine shelved novels and over four hundred rejections, begins to cry.

I ask Jane when the contract will arrive. She tells me we aren’t accepting the offer yet. Another publisher is also interested, and we should be able to get more money.
 
I’ve never done any hard drugs, but I can guess this is what they feel like.
 
12/3
Jane tells me to expect a phone call from Leslie Wells, the editor at Hyperion. She’d like to speak to me, to get a sense of my personality. “How should I act?” I ask Jane. She says, “Be yourself–you’ll do fine.”
 
12/4
Leslie calls, and we instantly hit it off. She’s edited two of my favorite authors, Ridley Pearson and Robert Crais. Leslie asks if I can FedEx an 8x10 picture of myself and a brief bio, in time for their acquisitions meeting tomorrow. Luckily, I have a good black and white photo of me in a snooty author pose..
 
I spend a few hours trying to make myself seem interesting in the bio. It’s harder than writing the book, but I manage and catch FedEx that night.
 
12/5
Hyperion makes a final offer. We accept. My wife and I celebrate with $150 champagne. I also have a bottle delivered to Jane, along with plastic cups so the whole office can toast.
 
I take my family and friends out to eat, and my mom makes me promise I won’t forget her if I become famous. “Mom, who?” I reply.
 
12/9
I’m at a bookstore, and on a whim pick up the latest copy of Publisher’s Weekly. There it is, in the Short Takes section; the details of my deal. I read my name, and realize it is the very first time it’s ever been in print. I buy all the copies they have.
 
12/15
The contract arrives. It’s 18 pages long, full of legalese. I call a lawyer friend and ask him to explain the term ‘force majeure’ (it basically means acts of God beyond the publisher’s control).
 
I initial each page and sign it, then FedEx it back. My book will be released in June of 2004. It seems a long time away.
 
12/31
New Year’s Eve is usually the worst day of the year for me. I normally spend the day depressed and regretful, looking at another year without a writing sale.
 
Not this year!
 
1/5
I join the Mystery Writers of America and the Horror Writers Association as an active member.
 
1/20
I complete a novella starring my hero from Whiskey Sour, Jacqueline Daniels. I decide to send it to Ellery Queen, a magazine that has rejected many previous stories.
 
2/6
I attend my first writing convention, Love is Murder, and speak on my first panel. It’s a lot of fun, I meet some big-name authors, and I network with many people.
 
I pass out free copies of a self-published chapbook. Some people ask for me to sign them, which makes me giggle like a idiot.
 
2/10
My check arrives. I buy a computer–my other books were all written on an archaic word processor. I also see an accountant about incorporating and becoming a sole-proprietorship.
 
2/11
I quit my job. I’ve been a server for twelve years. Waiting tables allowed me a flexible schedule, so I always had time to write.
 
Now my full time profession is writing, which is something I’ve dreamed about forever.
 
I continue to work on and submit short stories to paying markets.
 
2/16
I sell a story to Horror Garage magazine.
 
2/25
I begin contacting some of my favorite authors, soliciting blurbs for Whiskey Sour. Many say they’ll do it, which thrills me. Talking to famous writers is almost as much fun as being a writer.
 
3/10
Leslie sends me an edited copy of the manuscript. I’m to make all of her changes and send her a copy on disk.
 
As expected,  her suggestions are wonderful, albeit complicated. I FedEx it to her within a week.
 
3/11
Ellery Queen wants to buy my Jack Daniels novella. They send me a publishing contract. I run around the house, screaming.
 
My neighbor calls, wondering if I’m being murdered.
 
3/15
I hire a friend to help me create a website, and immerse myself in the world of HTML, jpgs, and transloading. My goal; when the site is active, I want to be able to update it and make changes myself.
 
3/30
I get a part-time job at the College of Dupage, teaching fiction writing and marketing. I’ve wanted to teach ever since I was a kid, and am thrilled to finally have a chance.
 
4/1
I receive the Hyperion Author Questionnaire. It’s roughly thirty questions, some of them very detailed. I fill it out carefully, and also include a marketing plan, a bio, and a list of authors who will blurb me.
 
I also put together a mock-up of a possible cover, with suggestions on what I’d like to see. I figure it can’t hurt.
 
4/10
Short story rejection. I find another market and send it back out.
 
4/13
WWW.JOEKONRATH.COM is finally up and running, and I’ve got a good working knowledge of how to keep it updated. I submit the URL to search engines, making sure the site description and metatags are perfect.
 
To make the site ‘sticky’ (keep people there), I offer writing tips, a fiction contest, a newsletter, giveaways, an appearance schedule, free stories and excerpts, downloads, a message board, and a massive links page–anyone who links to me, gets a link back.
 
4/15
I write my first newsletter, and email it to roughly two hundred people.
 
4/17
I attend the World Horror Convention, get to speak on several panels, and meet many famous authors. I pass out a hundred free chapbooks, sign some autographs, and have my first official scheduled reading. Three people attend. But, dammit, I really entertained those three!
 
I also participate in the annual gross-out contest, in front of a few hundred people. I get booed offstage, but it is a lot of fun.                             
 
4/20
Leslie sends back my manuscript with more requested changes. Some are tricky, but I happily comply and FedEx.
 
4/28
Short story rejection. I find another market and send it back out.
 
5/1
Michael Bourrett, a sub-rights agent at Dystel and Goderich, needs me to send more copies of the manuscript to submit to audio book publishers.
 
I print them, and calculate which is costing me more: inkjet cartridges or Fed Ex? Inkjet wins.
 
5/2
Good news: I learn to refill my own inkjet cartridges. Bad news: my fingernails will be black for the rest of my life.
 
5/8
My site is finally showing up on search engines. I design and print my own business cards to promote it..
 
5/16
Hyperion sends me an author photo permission slip, allowing them to use my bio photo for the jacket cover. My wife, who took the picture, is pretty excited.
 
5/20
Short story rejection. I find another market send it back out.
 
6/6
Hyperion has printed up advance uncorrected bound manuscripts of Whiskey Sour, to send out for blurbs. They like trade paperbacks, perfect bound spines and white cardstock covers. The pages are formatted the same as in MS Word.
I get some copies, and pass them out to people who’ll give me quotes or reviews.
 
6/7
Chicago Printer’s Row Book Fair. I pass out fifty free chapbooks.
 
6/10
I’m sent the line edit for Whiskey Sour. This goes into more detail than the previous edits, and I have to make several dozen changes and revisions, which are all written out on yellow sticky notes. It’s the toughest edit yet.
 
I learn what ‘stet’ means, and begin using it in everyday conversation whenever someone is bothering me. (It means ‘leave it alone’)
 
I also get a wonderful letter from my line editor. She tells me that she really loved the book, and is hoping that she’ll get to copyedit the next two in the series.
 
Fed Ex when I finish.
 
6/14
I attend  Dark and Stormy Nights Conference, doing a How To Get Published panel that is well attended and received.
 
I pass out fifty more chapbooks.
 
6/15
The blurbs start coming in. I’m actually embarrassed by all of the nice things fellow authors say about me. My wife asks if I’m paying them.
 
I wind up with over a dozen quotes, many of them from bestsellers. I put them on my website.
 
6/17
My first conference call. I spend an hour on the phone with my publicist and marketing director, discussing strategies and possible hooks. It’s fun, but most of it goes way over my head.
 
After the call, I pick up several books on promotion and marketing, so I can understand what the heck they said.
 
6/25
I get my first fan letter, from a woman who has discovered my site over the internet.
 
7/1
The Marketing Department asks me if they can use my first two initials on the front cover. I’ll be J.A. rather than Joe. I understand their reasoning–women are the primary book buyers, and a unisex first name might find a bigger initial audience.
 
I ask my agent her opinion. Jane says, “Always defer to Marketing.”
 
No problem. I’d change my name to Schnookie Badookums if it would sell more books.
 
I change my website to WWW.JAKONRATH.COM and resubmit to all the search engines.
 
7/3
I begin work on the synopsis for the next book in the Jack Daniels series. My contract says it’s due on 8/1. I’m a fast writer, and figure it’ll be easy, even though I’ve never written a synopsis before.
 
7/5
This synopsis thing is a lot harder than I expected. I write free-form. Half the time, I don’t know where the story is headed until I get there. Instinct and intuition.
 
A forty page outline (one chapter=one paragraph) means I have to know what is going to happen in advance. Every conflict, twist, character, and action has to be explained.
 
Although I might be a fast writer, I learn that I’m not a fast plotter.
 
7/10
Two short story rejections. I find other markets send them back out.
 
7/15
A writer friend gives me manuscript to blurb it. My first blurb!
 
7/17
Leslie sends me a timeline for Whiskey Sour. There are some big continuity problems. I ask if I can insert a time machine into the narrative as a quick fix. No dice.
 
I work like a dog to get the manuscript back in the requested three days. I also decide to buy stock in Fed Ex, as they’re getting rich off of me.
 
7/18
I speak at my local library, talking about what it is like to be a new author. The crowd of two people love me.
 
7/19
I finish the synopsis, and email it to my agent to review. Jane loves it, and says it is one of the best she’s ever read. I email it to my editor.
 
7/20
Leslie calls me. She doesn’t like the synopsis at all. In her opinion, it can’t be fixed. I have to come up with an entirely new plot. I pitch her my idea for the third book in the series, and she likes it.
 
I have ten days to finish.
 
7/22
The first pass arrives. This is how the typeset, copyedited pages will look when the book is published.
 
I must read Whiskey Sour again, looking for errors. It’s hard. I’ve read the book so many times, I’ve memorized whole sections.
 
It’s due by 8/1-- the same time the synopsis is due.
 
7/28
I finish making the required changes to the first pass, and decide to use the United States Post Office overnight delivery service, rather than FedEx, to send the manuscript back. It’ll save me ten bucks.
 
7/29
The unthinkable happens. The post office loses the manuscript.
 
I’m horrified. I spent countless hours correcting the first pass, and I don’t relish the idea of doing it over.
 
8/1
The synopsis for the second novel in the series is due today, along with the first two chapters. I manage to get them done by forgoing certain luxuries, like sleeping and eating. But I’m ultimately happy with the end result.
 
So is my editor, which is a huge relief.
 
My wife asks if I was angry having to do two synopses. I explain that I’m not. I’m living my dream, and I’ve experienced enough rejection to not take it personally. Publishing is a business, and I’m a professional. I’d write ten more synopses if Hyperion asked.
 
8/3
After phone calls to my post office, central dispatch, the Postmaster General, and the President of the United States, my package is found and ultimately delivered. Since ‘overnight’ doesn’t normally mean ‘five days’, the post office refunds my money.
 
8/10
The FedEx guy, who I’m now on a first name basis with, delivers a package. It’s my cover art.
 
I love it, even though it has nothing to do with my original concept.
 
8/15
I attend Horrorfind Weekend, give out more chapbooks, meet more authors and fans. People are beginning to recognize my name, which is wonderful, considering my book won’t be out for another ten months.
 
8/20
I write my second newsletter. This one gets emailed to 1300 people. The networking and self promotion is apparently paying off.
 
8/26
Michael sells the audio rights for the Jack Daniels series. I’m thrilled, and send him and the agency fifty dollars worth of bakery goods.
 
I call Eileen Hutton, the editor at Brilliance Audio, to convey my excitement. 
 
9/8
Whiskey Sour appears on Amazon.com for pre-order. I call up everyone I know to tell them.
 
9/9
Hyperion sends me a large color slick of what the front and back covers of the advance reading copies (ARCs)  will look like. It’s wonderful, but I dislike the inner jacket copy–the wording is clumsy, and it doesn’t accurately portray the tone of the book.
 
I email Leslie, asking if I can rewrite the copy, but the ARCs are already going to press. I send her my revision and hope for the best.
 
9/20
I contact Writer’s Digest and pitch an article idea, based on my path to publication. Christine
Mersch writes back, explaining she’s looking for a journal type of article, concentrating on what happens after the book sale.
 
I redo my proposal, and get a green light to submit an article on spec. I hope they buy it.
 
9/30
The ARCs of Whiskey Sour arrive. They are truly beautiful-- the art, the blurbs, the layout; everything looks great. Plus, they went with my revised inner jacket copy.
 
Holding one in my hand makes me feel like a real author for the very first time.
 
I email Hyperion, thanking everyone for doing such a tremendous job. My thank you note gets passed around, and I wind up hearing from many people involved in putting the book together. One of them gives my the greatest compliment I’ve ever received:

"I just read the Whiskey Sour bound manuscript over the weekend and absolutely loved it. I accidentally missed my subway stop the other day because I was so wrapped up in finishing it.”

10/1
I do a live online chat for HWA. They tout me as The Rejection King, since I’ve gotten almost five hundred bong letters. The chat goes well, and is a lot of fun.
 
10/13
I talk at a local library about how to get published, and bring along the short story rejection I received that morning.
 
10/16
I make my first anthology sale. I’m going to be in Jeanne Cavelos’s “The Many Faces of Van Helsing,” coming out in trade paper from Ace in April.
 
10/17
For fun, I figure out how much time I work every week. When I waited tables, I’d work thirty hours, then spend another twenty writing
Since I began writing full time, I average sixty hours a week. Some days I’m on my computer for fifteen hours straight. 
 
11/10
Writer’s Digest buys my article. I feel like my career has come full circle. I read WD for many years, seeking advice and guidance. Now I’m in the magazine, giving advice and guidance.
 
Unfortunately,  I don’t have time for reflection right now–the first draft of my second novel is due in January, and I haven’t gotten started on it yet. . .

AFTER THE BOOK COMES OUT

So then what happened? Here's Part 2 of the article, originally published in a truncated form in the September 2005 edition of Writer's Digest. Here it is uncut and unedited.
 

3/21/03
It’s often mentioned in the publishing community that the second book is harder to write than the first. This is true.

I had no problems, though, because my second book was actually my eleventh.

When I signed a three book deal with Hyperion, they had no idea how long I’d been struggling to get published. As far as they new, Whiskey Sour, the first in the Jack Daniels thriller series, was the first thing I’d ever written.

In reality, I’d written over a million words without selling a thing, earning my living as a waiter.

So when it came time to write the second Daniels book, Bloody Mary, I had no fear of the sophomore slump. I turned in what I knew to be a much better book than Whiskey Sour, and waited for my editor to lavish me with praise.

3/30
My editor lavishes me with edits.

I quickly divide her ‘nit list’ into three columns; those suggestions I agree with, those I’m on the fence about, and those I absolutely won’t do, no matter what. I write her a very nice email, stating my case, backing up my arguments with clear and concise examples. My letter is so persuasive, so compelling, that it’s worthy of a thesis.

3/31
My editor thanks me for replying, understands my points, and tells me to make the changes anyway.

I don’t have a big ego–garnering over 450 rejections goes a long way towards keeping a guy grounded. But I really don’t want to make these changes. I go whining to my wife, demanding sympathy.

“They’re paying you,” she says. “Make the changes.”

I make the changes.

4/2
Hyperion buys a 1/3 page ad for Whiskey Sour in Publisher’s Weekly. The pub date for my novel is June 2nd, which can’t arrive soon enough for me.

I also get my first major review for WS, from Kirkus. They call the book “A rapid-fire debut thriller.” I can live with that!

4/6
The anthology The Many Faces of Van Helsing comes out, featuring my story “The Screaming.” This is the very first time I’ve been on a bookstore shelf. I email all of my friends and family and demand they rush out and buy a copy.

4/9
I attend the World Horror Convention in Phoenix, and I can’t stress enough how important writing cons are. You network, talk shop, hear buzz and rumors about the Biz, and get your name ‘out there.’

I pass out a lot of business cards, talk about my upcoming book to any who will listen, meet editors and booksellers, and learn a lot. Best tip: even though short stories don’t pay well, keep doing them. They’re like free advertising for your novels.

4/14
Through conferences, email, and the grapevine, I’ve become friends with many ‘name’ writers. One of them, mystery author Rob Kantner, has put together a collection of his short stories. Having grown up reading Rob, I begged him to let me write a foreword for the book.

He graciously consented. Unfortunately, no one in Big City Publishing was interested in a short story collection from a midlist author.

I asked Rob, somewhat hesitantly, if he’d mind if I shopped it around. I’ve been working on self-promotion for over a year, and I’ve met a lot of people.

The result? Trouble is What I Do is coming out soon, from Point Blank Press, featuring an intro by yours truly.

4/22
An acceptance! I still do the Snoopy Dance whenever I sell something, and today the mailman brings me a contract from Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine. This is the second story of mine they’ve bought. After so many years of bad news, it’s nice to be finally getting some good. I’m convinced it can only get better.

5/1
Publisher’s Weekly reviews Whiskey Sour and says, “Reading like an ill-conceived cross between Carl Hiaasen and Thomas Harris, this cliché-ridden first novel should find a wide audience among less discriminating suspense fans.”

Ouch!

After my initial shock, I try to judge my reaction, and I’m surprised to find myself bemused. I never really thought about it before, but the hundreds of rejections I’ve gotten really thickened my skin.

Besides, the quote can be edited down to “(a) cross between Carl Hiaasen and Thomas Harris,” which I put on my website.

5/5
This is officially the greatest day of my writing career.

FedEx drops off the hardcover copies of Whiskey Sour. Holding it my hands for the first time, I begin to cry–but not like a baby. I cry manly, macho tears, like Rocky when he beat Apollo.

The FedEx guy comes back an hour later, and brings copies of the June 2004 Writer’s Digest, which features my article “After the Big Sale.” I’m out of my mind with happiness.

Then the mailman arrives with my copies of Ellery Queen, featuring the first story I sold them.

Just when things can’t get any better, by editor emails me a glowing review from BookPage, which calls Whiskey Sour, “Easily one of the best debut suspense novels in recent years.” My book has also made the cover of the magazine.

I’m 34 years old. I wrote my first book when I was 22. I’ve waited twelve years for this day, twelve years of hard work, rejection, and zero reward.
This one day has made it all worth while.

5/6
The FedEx guy drops off copies of my audiobook. It’s read by the talented duo of Dick Hill and Susie Breck, but I have a small part. My young son can’t get enough of hearing Dad’s voice on the CD.

Neither can Dad.

5/13
Whiskey Sour is named a BookSense Pick for June. BookSense is run by the American Booksellers Association, and to have my book honored in this way is incredible.

I add this to my website, which is taking up more and more of my time. JAKonrath.com began as a simple author homepage with a few free stories and a few writing tips. Now it’s blossomed to more than sixty pages of content. I spent about five hours a week updating the site, which cuts into my writing time, but is necessary if I want people to make return visits.

5/15
My publisher is planning a big event for me at the upcoming Book Expo America. There will be a cocktail party, in my honor, attended by independent booksellers.

My publicist decides that I need a media coach, to train me for the party so I don’t say anything stupid.

Normally, I’m receptive to everything my publisher does for me, but I’m sure I don’t need a media coach. I’m good with people, and have a lot of public speaking experience.

But rather than be insulted, I try to keep an open mind.

5/17
The media coach calls, and we ‘role-play’ the party. And now I’m officially insulted.

“Pretend I’m a bookseller,” the coach says, getting paid more an hour than I make in a week, “and I ask you if your book took a lot of research. What do you say?”

I tell her that I went beyond research and actually did hands-on training. “For example, to fully understand the villain in the book, a serial killer, I would cruise the streets of Chicago at night and murder prostitutes.”

Long stretch of silence.

“Maybe you shouldn’t say that,” she says finally.

Apparently media coaches aren’t big on humor.

As the hour drags on, she asks what I’m going to wear to the party, as it will be semi-formal.

“I’ve rented something already,” I tell her.

“A tuxedo?”

“A big, pink bunny suit.”

She doesn’t laugh. My publicist isn’t amused, either, when the coach tells her all about the session.

5/20
Hard to believe it’s been eighteen months since signing my contract, but Whiskey Sour is finally on the shelves! The pub date isn’t until June 2nd, but apparently ‘shelf date’ and ‘pub date’ are two different things. It’s still not for sale on Amazon, but all of my local stores have copies.

5/29
My book launch party. We have it at the restaurant I used to work at, and a local indie bookstore does the bookselling.

Friends, family, and fellow writers buy 110 copies of Whiskey Sour, and then we all go back to my house and celebrate until three in the morning.

It’s the new greatest day of my career.

6/1
Though the media coach left no lasting impression on me, I find myself second-guessing my image, or my lack of one.

Somehow, I’ve gotten to my mid-thirties without ever having bought a suit. I rarely shave because I don’t have to. The only thing distinctive about my features is my double chin.

This troubles me, because I’m about to become a public figure, and I’m not sure how I want to portray myself to the public.

So I put myself in the hands of an expert; I go to a tailor. We pick out a nice, silk blazer, a collared shirt, and a pair of slacks. The outfit costs more than the rest of my wardrobe, combined.

I also shave my stubble into a stylish goatee (which hides my double chin), and change my boring, everyday glasses to those trendy kind with the black plastic frames that I’ve always hated but my wife likes.

So after a lifetime of dressing for comfort, I now have a ‘look.’ The ‘look’ is: a pudgy Clark Kent with a beard and a nice suit. I can live with it.

6/6
Book Expo America is the largest book event of the year. Hundreds of thousands of people attend, every publisher in the business has a booth, and when I walked into McCormick Place I was so overwhelmed by the sheer size of it I had a panic attack.

Where do I fit into all of this?

I visited my publisher’s booths, Hyperion and Brilliance Audio, and both had stacks of my books to give away (at BEA, everything is free... huzzah! I walked out of there with 80 books.)

My first event is the BookSense luncheon. I’m seated at the table with an assistant publicist and a gaggle of booksellers, each of whom get a copy of Whiskey Sour. I work the table, talking to each person, signing their copies. Because I’m not in my seat I don’t get served, and miss lunch (it looked good, too.)

I also get to stand up alongside such stars as Dave Barry, Christopher Moore, Chuck Palnuihik, Laura Lippmann, and Ridley Pearson. When the photographer takes my picture, I vogue for him.

That night is my cocktail party, at the Allerton in downtown Chicago. I put on the new suit, slap on some cologne, and go see what Hyperion has done for me.

They’ve done more than I ever could have imagined.

There’s a giant table, stacked high with my books. There are coasters with the book’s jacket design on them, strewn around the banquet hall. A bartender is pouring–you guessed it–whiskey sours. And people... over a hundred, all there to meet me.

For four hours I shake hands, sign books, and be the best JA Konrath I can be. It’s a heady, and exhausting, experience.

I’m the last person to leave, and I get home at 3am, knowing I have to be up at 6am for Day Two.

6/7
For some reason known only to book people, BEA takes place the same weekend as Chicago’s Printer’s Row Bookfair.

Today I split my time between the two. In the morning, I have three signings at PR. Since I’m a new, unknown author, I’m not surprised that I sell very few books. At one booth, I don’t sell a single copy, while the famous author next to me sells one book after another.

It’s extremely disheartening, especially considering the many future events I’d lined up. Will they all be like this?

After that slow start, I go back to BEA for another party, thrown by my audio publisher. While I have a very formal, reserved relationship with Hyperion, I have a fun, easy going connection with Brilliance Audio. So after very little sleep, and a depressing morning, I’m ready to take off my tie and have some fun.

Among the guests at the party were Hyperion’s President, Bob Miller. Needless to say, the tie stays on. I get the chance to have a long talk with Bob, who pays me a terrific compliment.

“We like you, Joe, because you’re the kind of guy who will drive around with a box of books in his trunk and hand sell them. Most authors expect the publisher to do all the work, when it’s their book as much as ours.”

The party ends late, and I’m so tired I can’t even see. Get home at 3am, up at 6am for Day Three.

6/8
I have another signing at Printer’s Row, but I decide to play it differently. Rather than sit behind a table full of my books, I stand in front of the table and introduce myself to people who walk by. I used to be a waiter; if I can sell a $40 steak to a guest in a restaurant, I can sell a $20 book to a booklover.

By the time my hour is up, I’ve sold twelve books.

Then it’s back to BEA, where I do a signing at my audio publisher’s booth. It’s the writing fantasy I’ve had since I was a kid; an endless line of people, all waiting patiently for my signature. (Of course, they’re getting the books for free, so I don’t get a big head about it.)

I sign about two hundred audiobooks, and many people in line recognize me. “I read about you in Writer’s Digest.” “I read your story in that anthology.” “I heard about you in that review.” “I’ve been to your website.” “I love those stylish black glasses.” (okay, I made that last one up.)

The hour flies by. Then it’s back to Printer’s Row for my last signing. My energy is fading, but I manage to sell ten books, get home at a reasonable time, and then sleep for fourteen hours straight.

It was the hardest weekend of my entire life, and also the most rewarding.

6/12
Every morning, when I turn on my computer, I’m amazed by the number of emails I’m getting from people who have read my book, or one of my stories, or one of my articles.

Total strangers, who have taken the time to pay me a compliment, ask some advice, share a bit of their writing with me, or just say hello.

I make an effort to answer each email, and sometimes it takes me an hour or two. This cuts into my website time, which cuts into my publicity time, which cuts into my writing time, but it quickly becomes the highlight of my day. The concept of ‘fans’ was always just that; a concept. To actually have fans is an experience I wouldn’t trade for anything.

6/13
My name is Joe Konrath, and I’m addicted to Amazon.

I try not to look. I really try. But upwards of fifteen times a day, I go to Amazon.com, searching for new customer reviews, and checking to see if my book sales rank has changed.

The sales rank compares my book to the three million other books also on Amazon. I’ve cracked the top 10,000 a few times, and my highest score was 2991 (meaning only 2990 books are selling better than mine at that moment, and I’m selling better than everything else).

The reviews have been mostly 4 or 5 stars, but I’ve gotten a few zingers. They include:

“Don’t waste your money!”

“Shame on the publisher.”

“What a waste of paper!”

And my favorite, “A nasty little pustule of a book.”

The latter was done by a self-professed ‘former galley checker’ who claimed I had some technical inaccuracies. She also called me “Ms. Konrath.” Perhaps this meticulous galley checker failed to check the top of every other page, which plainly states my name is Joe.

6/15
I go on a whirlwind tour of Michigan with fellow authors Robert W. Walker and David Ellis, visiting fifteen bookstores in three days. The events we do are well-attended, but I don’t really sell a lot of books. Rob and Dave do well– they not only have established fan bases, but they’ve got paperbacks, which are easier to move than hardcovers.

The point of the tour for me wasn’t big sales, though. It was meeting the booksellers, shaking the hands, and getting my face out there. Hopefully, it’s working.

6/17
I learn the ugly truth about co-op.

Much of the prominent display space in a bookstore; by the counter, on the tables, in the window, is rented by publishers using co-op money. Co-op is also used to advertise and publicize author tours and signings.

This is one of the reasons my publisher didn’t want to tour me. Besides the cost of plane fare, hotels, and author escorts, the publisher also gives the bookstore co-op money. With a new author, who is only going to sell a few copies, it’s a waste of money to advertise an author event.

So when my publicist calls and tells me to cancel a signing that I’ve set up, I can understand where she’s coming from.

That doesn’t mean I have to like it.

I work out a compromise of sorts. I’m allowed to drop by stores and sign stock, as long as there’s no co-op involved. That means no publicity and no advertising.

But that’s okay-- publicity and advertising aren’t going to sell my book.

I am.

6/19
A suburban mall bookstore is told by my publisher that I can’t do a signing there. The manager calls me, upset, because they’ve already ordered a bunch of books, and have been looking forward to this event.

I tell him I’m happy to come by and sign some stock, as long as this isn’t an official signing.

When I arrive, I’m shocked–they’ve got 100 copies of Whiskey Sour. I know, in my heart of hearts, there’s NO WAY they’ll ever sell all of these books.

But maybe I can.

I hang out, greet customers, show them my book. The staff is totally into it, and point people in my direction, asking everyone who comes in if they’d like to meet a famous author.

Eight hours later, we’ve gotten rid of 79 copies.

The staff, and I, are ecstatic. They’ve never had an author stay so long, or work so hard. And I’ve earned back $138.50 on my advance (I get 12.5% of the cover price, or $2.75, for each book sold).

6/20
Word of my success at the mall bookstore has gotten around. I get a call from the district manager of the chain, who invites me to do seven more signings.

My publicist also hears about this. “Are you doing signings? Didn’t we talk about this?”

“It was just a drop-in,” I tell her.

7/5
Whiskey Sour is named an Independent Mystery Bookseller Association Bestseller for June. I’m the only new author on the list–the rest are established pros.

I send every member of the IMBA a thank-you card.

7/10
Another mall drop-in, another eight hours on my feet. Sixty-two books sold.

7/14
I’m doing a mini tour of Illinois and Wisconsin. I plan a route and hit five to ten bookstores a day, unannounced, meeting employees and signing stock.

After ten days, I’ve visited over seventy bookstores, and I’m tired. Emotionally and physically. I never guessed how hard this was going to be.

A look at my schedule for the upcoming month finds it packed; I’ve got signings, conferences, events, and interviews. Plus the website, which is now getting a hundred hits a day, is taking up more time, and my email, which is overflowing, and deadlines, because I’ve promised stories to several different publications, and I still have to turn in the outline for my third book and write the damn thing, plus I’m also working on editing an anthology that my agent wants to rep which is due before I go to NY in a few weeks.

And, oh yeah, I vaguely remember having a wife and kids that I’ve been ignoring for over a month.

Then the FedEx guy shows up, with something from Hyperion. It’s the cover art, for Bloody Mary. And it’s beautiful.

I frame it, and put it above my desk next to the cover art for Whiskey Sour, and my life doesn’t seem so out of control anymore.

This is what I want. This is what I’ve always wanted. I’m the luckiest guy on earth.

I check my schedule and see that I have a lot to do today. But it’s gorgeous outside, and my son just got a bike, and someone has to teach him how to ride it.

BOOK TOUR 2005

What's a publisher book tour like? I kept a journal documenting my 11 day tour of the West Coast. Witness the trials and tribulations of a midlist writer far away from home...
 


Day #1

Sixteen hour day today, and I'm exhausted.

Got into Denver yesterday after a flight delay, and picked up my rental car at the airport, along with a GPS Navigation System.

The GPS is the coolest thing ever invented. It's a cell phone, and you call Dispatch and give them an address, and then the speaker phone tells you when to turn left and right, along with showing arrows on the display. Finding stuff in a strange city has never been easier, and since I'm going to visit 30 bookstores in two days in Colorado, the GPS is a godsend.

TOUR TIP #1: Use a GPS.

My publisher booked me into the Brown Palace Hotel. I was skeptical (Wasn't I good enough for the Gold Palace or the Silver Palace?), but once I arrived I changed my tune.

This is a seriously beautiful hotel. See for yourself at www.brownpalace.com.

Since most bookstores were having Harry Potter parties, I refrained from drive-by signings that night. Instead I plotted a course of action for the next day, prepared my give-away items, and got a full night of sleep.

I woke up this morning at 7AM, shaved and showered, and had a decent breakfast with plenty of water.

Then I set my GPS coordinates and began.

First stop, a Barnes & Noble in Denver. I do my standard drive-by. It consists of:

1. Finding all of my books in the store and bringing them to the Information desk.
2. Introducing myself to the employee at the desk, and signing the copies.
3. Handing the employee a signed WHISKEY SOUR coaster, and explaining what my books are about.
4. Tracking down all the other employees in the store, giving them signed coasters and the book talk.

Simple enough. Takes about fifteen minutes. They had 3 hardcovers and 9 paperbacks.

Next stop, another Barnes & Noble, in Littleton. Drive-by signing. 2 hardcovers, 6 paperbacks.

Next stop, a reading and signing at Murder by the Book in Denver at noon. Besides my stack of coasters, I have some copies of Ellery Queen as give-aways, and airline bottles of Jack Daniels signed in silver marker. The Owner, Lauri Ver Schure, gets a warm greeting and a bottle of Jack.

TOUR TIP #2: Always have something to give the owner and employees.

MBTB is a very cool store, with extensive signed and OOP books, and I browse while waiting for people to arrive. About ten do, and I greet them all before beginning my presentation. I also give away freebies to fans I've met before, or heard from online.

TOUR TIP #3: Give each person in the room a handshake and warm welcome---and more if you know them.

Lauri brings out a large cake, decorated like the cover of BLOODY MARY, which is lovely. We all have cake, then I do my thing.

My thing consists of a Q & A with myself, asking myself things that I'm often asked. It's funny, informative, and I tailor it to audience reaction.

This audience is very receptive, laughing in all the right places, maintaining a high level of interest. By the end of the talk it's hard to tell who is happy, me or them.

TOUR TIP #4: Rehearse your presentation, but pay attention to your response. Monologues are boring and can be done in an empty room. Storytelling is an active, dynamic thing that requires the audience to participate. If they aren't involved, get them involved by changing tactics.

An author friend of mine, Jim Hansen, came by to see me. I signaled him out and talked a little about his book, NIGHT LAWS, which is a damn good debut.

TOUR TIP #5: Give props to your peeps. If you have published friends in the audience, let the crowd know. Publicity is hard, and writers should help each other.

After the talk, I did a reading, which was met with a positive response.

TOUR TIP #6: When reading, be brief (no more than ten minutes), and if possible, funny. Practice until you're good enough, and make sure the passage you read won't offend anyone (or gross them out).

I signed books after the reading.

TOUR TIP #7: Always ask who they'd like the book inscribed to, and how to spell their name. Trust me on this one. I've met Aymee, Jym, Marscha, Debbera, and Chuk, to misname a few.

When the last person left, I hung around and signed the rest of the stock.

TOUR TIP #8: Don't leave without signing everything.

Then I did some more browsing and bought some books. In this instance, I bought a $50 first edition of Silence of the Lambs.

TOUR TIP #9: When signing at an indie store, always buy something before you leave. Support the folks who support you.

I was there two hours total. Ten books sold, fifteen signed. Plus, they let me keep the rest of the cake (Lemon poppy seed...mmm.)

After the event, Jim Hansen took me out to lunch (Thanks Jim! Everyone buy NIGHT LAWS this January! www.jimhansenbooks.com). Then it was off to HIGH CRIMES in Boulder.

HIGH CRIMES is another awesome store, run by the the wonderful Cynthia Nye.

This was another reading event, and I got there still hyped-up from the good time I had at MBTB. Because of that, I didn't spend time introducing myself to everyone. Instead, I went right into the Joe Konrath Comedy Hour.

Not smart. Rather than get the audience to like me before starting my talk, I went for the big laughs right away and they didn't go over well. Sensing that I was losing the crowd, I reeled in the humor and tried to be more informative and sedate.

That worked better, but trying to win an audience over from an initial bad impression is harder than entertaining a group of people who love you before you begin. Next time, I'll do more schmoozing beforehand and start the ball rolling slowly.

The reading went better than the Q & A, and some folks stuck around to buy books. I then stayed for a while and sold some books to people who came in after my event. I also bought some books that Cynthia recommended, said my thank yous, and got on the road. Ten books sold, twelve signed.

Drive-by at Borders in Boulder. 2 hardcovers, 6 paperbacks. Sold a paperback while I was there.

Drive-by at Barnes & Noble in Boulder. 2 hardcovers, 4 paperbacks.

Drive-by at Borders in Broomfield. 3 hardcovers, 6 paperbacks. Sold a paperback while I was there.

Drive-by at Waldenbooks in Westminster. 2 hardcover, 5 paperbacks.

Drive-by at Waldenbooks in Arvada---they're closed.

TOUR TIP #10: When planning your drive-by itinerary, check closing times, because some stores close at 8pm.

Drive-by Tattered Cover in Denver. 3 hardcovers, 5 paperbacks, and something cool. In the mystery section is a woman and her daughter, and when they see me grabbing copies of Whiskey Sour, they get excited because they've read it. Naturally I introduce myself, and wind up signing a copy of Bloody Mary for them, and talking for a while.

Meeting fans is always cool.

Back to the hotel, and I'm exhausted. I figure I'll order room service and a massage and put it on my publisher's tab.

Or not.

TOUR TIP #11: Pay for as much as you can on your own. Your publisher is sending you to work, not on a vacation. Hyperion is paying for transportation and lodging. Everything else I'm paying for.

I walk into the lobby with half a BLOODY MARY cake, wondering what I should do with it. As luck would have it, four ladies were having some drinks in the lobby. Still in author mode (which means I'm fearless and will approach anyone) I ask them if they want some cake.

"Hell yeah we want cake!"

One thing led to another, and soon the cake was gone and we were all on our way to Barnes & Noble up the street so I could sign copies of my books for them. Great people. They're from Memphis, here for a convention. If everyone from Memphis is this friendly and fun, I may move there.

After booksigning, we hit an Irish pub and have beer and onion rings, and then it's 1AM and I'm beat.

Back to my luxury suite, where the maid has turned down the bed and left chocolates on the pillow. Very cool.

Sleep beckons, but I want to blog this so I have a record of how things are going. Partly because I want to remember this. Partly to show my publisher, so they know I'm trying my best to sell some books.

I did two signings and seven drive-bys today. Not too bad. Tomorrow I have 19 drive-bys to do. I should have enough time, if I get up early.

Time for bed. I have 11 more days of this tour...

Day #2

I got away with only working twelve hours today. Would have gone longer, but the only bookstores I haven't yet visited close early on Sundays.

Got up at 8AM, then plotted my route for drive-bys. I wanted to visit 18 stores. I figured I could do two stores an hour---15 minutes of schmoozing, then 15 minutes of travel time.

It took longer than I figured, and I got behind schedule. When I do a drive-by, I always find my books myself and bring them up to the Information Desk.

"This is me," I'll say, smiling and pointing at my book cover. "I'm J.A. Konrath. Can I sign these for you guys?"

I always get a yes. Sometimes they ask questions. Sometimes they're busy. But I still try to pitch the books and hand out signed coasters to as many employees as possible. They are my word-of-mouth army, and I need to stick in their heads.

Sometimes it takes time to find staff, or sometimes they call for managers, and my 15 minute time frame becomes half an hour. I also often wind up talking to customers, passing out signed coasters, and pitching my books to patrons.

Plus, since I hit most of the local stores yesterday, the stores today were farther apart, sometimes by 25 miles. There were several mall stores, and it seemed I always parked ten miles away from where the store was, every time. So I didn't get as much done as I wanted to.

Here are the stats:

Barnes & Noble in Denver, signed 4 hardcovers, 9 paperbacks, sold 1.

Waldenbooks in Denver, signed 4 hardcovers, 2 paperbacks.

Borders in Lakewood, signed 3 hardcovers, 3 paperbacks, sold 1.

Barnes & Noble in Lakewood, signed 4 hardcovers, six paperbacks, sold 2.

Borders in Englewood, signed 3 hardcovers, 2 paperbacks, sold 1.

Borders in Littleton, signed 2 hardcovers, 5 paperbacks.

Waldenbooks in Littleton, signed 4 hardcovers, 6 paperbacks.

Barnes & Noble in Greenwood Village, signed 4 hardcovers, 5 paperbacks.

Barnes & Noble in Lonetree, signed 5 hardcovers and 5 paperbacks.

Borders in Aurora, signed 5 hardcovers and 8 paperbacks.

Barnes and Noble in Aurora, signed 4 hardcovers and 2 paperbacks.

Waldenbooks in Aurora, signed 2 hardcovers and 6 paperbacks.

Barnes & Noble in Westminster, signed 4 hardcovers, 4 paperbacks.

Barnes & Noble in Thornton, signed 4 hardcovers, 7 paperbacks.

Borders in Northglen, signed 4 hardcovers, 4 paperbacks.

So that's 15 stores today, and 9 yesterday, for a total of 24 signing in Colorado in two days.

Will it make a difference? I dunno. I met a lot of booksellers and fans today, and signed over a hundred coasters and plenty of books.

Several employees placed my signed books in a front-of-store display, which should help.

Plus Waldenbooks had them at 20% off, which is good news.

Other good news---today in the Chicago Sun-Times, I got a tremendous review from David Montgomery. I love that guy. In the New York Times Book Review, you can find an ad for my books that my publisher placed. Plus the latest issue of The Strand Magazine is on the newsstands, featuring an even bigger ad from my publisher, plus an original Harry McGlade story by me called TAKEN TO THE CLEANERS. Pick it up. It's funny.

So what am I learning on tour so far? Here are more tips.

TOUR TIP #12: Always allow yourself more time than you think you need. Sometimes traffic is bad, or you get lost. Sometimes you stay at a store longer than expected. Visiting two stores an hour was an unrealistic goal. Give yourself wiggle room.

TOUR TIP #13: Save time by finding your books on the shelf and bringing them to the Information Desk to sign them, but ALWAYS ask the staff to check if there are more copies. Several times today, the store had more than I'd found. And it goes without saying that you want to sign everything...

TOUR TIP #14: Stay attached to reality. By my ninth store today, I completely forgot where I was. So I took a little break and called home. Hearing friendly voices helped to take my mind away from the repetition, and made me fresh for the next set of signings.

TOUR TIP #15: Be good to yourself. I ate when hungry, drank plenty of water, and made sure I had some sleep the night before. I couldn't imagine doing this without enough sleep or nourishment---or even worse, hungover. A healthy tour is a productive tour.

FUN FACT ABOUT COLORADO: It has mountains.

THINGS I WOULD HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY--Spent more time introducing myself to the audience at High Crimes, visited the stores that closed early first, and eaten someplace other than that burrito stand.

THINGS I NEED TO DO--Plan my attack for Arizona. I'm leaving tomorrow at 6AM, which means I have to pack tonight, plot an itinerary for drive-bys, and contact my wife to have her send me more coasters and give-away magazines--I didn't bring nearly enough.

That's all for now. See you in the desert...

Day #3

Got up at 5am to catch a flight to Phoenix. Made it here by noon.

FUN FACT ABOUT PHOENIX: It's really hot.

National Car Rental gave me a GPS, but a different kind than I was using in Colorado (that was a Nextel, this is a Navman.)

I'm no techneophyte, but the Navman made no sense at all. I was twenty miles away from the car rental place when I realized the problem wasn't me---it was my unit (insert genital joke here.)

Basically, the GPS was stuck in demo mode, and the little triangle I thought was me was actually a simulation, going down roads that I wasn't on, making turns that I didn't make.

So I'm stuck in the desert with a bum GPS, with no idea of how to get back to the car rental place, because, hey, no GPS.

I did eventually make it back, and the National rep wasn't sympathetic at all to my plight (I spent twelve years in the service industry, and this girl was a waste of carbon.) I wrangled a new GPS, got it working, and finally made it to my hotel by 2pm.

Time to start the drive-bys.

Barnes & Noble in Phoenix on Camelback, signed 3 hardcovers, 4 paperbacks.

Barnes & Noble in Phoenix on Metro, signed 4 hardcovers, 5 paperbacks, sold 1.

Waldenbooks in Phoenix on Metro, signed 3 hardcovers, 5 paperbacks, sold 1.

Waldenbooks in Phoenix on Bell, signed 4 hardcovers, 11 paperbacks, sold 1.

Borders in Phoenix in Fashion Park, signed 3 hardcovers, 6 paperbacks.

Borders in Phoenix on Cactus, signed 3 hardcovers, 6 paperbacks, 2 CDs.

Borders in Glendale on Bell, signed 3 hardcovers, 2 paperbacks.

Borders in Scottsdale on Mayo, signed 1 hardcover, 7 paperbacks.

Barnes & Noble in Scottsdale on Indian Bend, signed 4 hardcover, 9 paperbacks.

Brentano's in Scottsdale on Camelback, signed 10 hardcovers, 10 paperbacks, and was told that a women came in ten minutes before I did and bought both books. Sorry I was late lady, but the store was in a mall, and as I mentioned before, fate rolls the dice and chooses to make me park as far away as humanly possible from the store location. And the malls in Arizona are even larger than the malls in Colorado. I swear, in one mall I walked at least 70 miles. I grew a beard in the time it took to go from Sears to JC Penny.

So ten signings today, for a total of 35 in three days. Someone call the Guinness people.

Better yet, some give me a pint of Guinness.

I have ten more tomorrow, which should be easy, since I have all day. I'm doing an event at 7pm at Poisoned Pen in Scottsdale, which should be fun.

Once again, my publisher has put me up at a nice hotel. And once again, I haven't had time to enjoy it. Speaking of publishers...

TOUR TIP #16: Let your publisher and agent know how the tour is going. Be upbeat and positive. My publicist told everyone at Hyperion how I was doing, which can't hurt their opinion of me. When you make an effort, don't make it in silence.

As for the recent comments pertaining to my sanity, I don't think working hard at something I love is crazy. Getting published is a tremendous opportunity, and the best way to acknowledge such a gift is to work hard to prove it wasn't all just luck.

Which is why I've given up sleep, and tattooed my publisher's name on my forehead. In reverse, so I can read it when I look into the mirror.

Until tomorrow...

Day #4

Long day.

Got up at 6AM and mapped out the drive-bys.

Speaking of drive-bys, here's the Definitive Guide for Doing Drive-By Signings.

1. Find the stores. Go to www.bookweb.org, www.bn.com, www.waldenbooks.com, www.borders.com, www.booksamillion.com, and search for stores by city and zip code. Or go to the public library and look through the phones books. Try to list all the stores within 20 miles of the city you're visiting.

2. Call the stores you intend to drop in on and ask someone if they carry your books. DO NOT tell them you're the author. Why? All that does is complicate things. Trust me on this. They'll tell you you have to speak to a manager, or an events coordinator, or they'll tell you you aren't allowed to come in unless it has been cleared by your publisher, or they'll tell you that they don't do signings, or they'll set the books aside and then no one will be able to find them when you come in, or you'll set everything up and when you get there no one will know who the hell you are, or... you get the point.

The truth is, bookstores and publishers have a set of rules about author signings.

You want to ignore those rules. So call and and see if they have copies, and ask how many. I wouldn't drive 20 miles to sign three paperbacks, but for three hardcovers I would.

Call a day or two before you plan on dropping by---calling ten days before may result in your books being gone by then.

3. Map out your route. www.mapquest.com, www.maps.yahoo.com, www.maps.google.com. Plot a course going point to point. A GPS navigation unit saves a lot of time and effort.

I've noticed that Barnes & Noble and Borders stores often have locations just a few miles from one another. If there's one, there may be another.

Independent booksellers are generally happier to see you, and more eager to sell your stuff. Fit as many of these into the drop-in tour as possible.

4. When you get to a store, find your books. Booksellers are busy, and you want to be low maintenance and take up very little of their time.

On this tour, my books are either on the new release table, the 20% off table, or in the mystery section. Sometimes there will be extra copies on the floor, or stacked behind other books on the shelf. Look around.

5. Take your books to the Information Desk, or to a counter, and say your spiel to an employee. Mine is:

"Hi! This is me. (Smiling, pointing to my name on cover.) I'm an author. Great to meet you. (Shake hand.) Thanks for carrying my books! Do you mind if I sign them?"

Start signing when you get the 'yes.'

Then ask them if they like your genre, and tell them about your books. For the pitch I use, check out my website at www.jakonrath.com/tips6.html --- it's the same pitch I use to sell to customers.

While talking to the employee, give them something---a card, a bookmark, or in my case, a drink coaster with my book cover on it, and SIGN THE ITEM. Signing it will hopefully prevent them from throwing the item away, on the off chance that one day you'll be famous and they can sell it on eBay.

Also, ask them if they can check to see if there are any more in the store that you couldn't find. Be patient---if the store is busy, let them take care of customers before you. That gives you a chance to pitch to customers as well.

When the books are signed, ask if they have stickers that say "Autographed Copy". If they do, help them sticker the books. If they don't, use your own stickers, that you took from the last store you signed at.

Barnes & Noble have square green stickers. Borders and Waldenbooks have red triangles. Sometimes Waldenbooks has blue rectangles, and Borders has brown rectangles. Don't get confused.

After the books are signed and stickered, ask the employees to sell them.

"Please get rid of these for me... my kids need to eat."

Often they'll make a display for you. Don't suggest a display yourself--let them suggest it. This appeal for help is important--it shows you're not a snooty author, but a regular person who needs help.

I also tell employees that whoever sells 20 copies or more will be mentioned in the acknowledgements for my next book.

6. Meet as many employees in the store that you can, passing out signed cards. Thank them profusely for selling your book, and for the great job they're doing. Take their business cards, and add them to your email newsletter list.

7. If you're at an independent bookstore, never leave without buying something. If you want them to support you, you should support them.

8. Keep a log of where you visited and how many copies you signed. Share this info with your agent and publisher. You don't have to give them the full list, but an email saying, "I was just in Arizona for the weekend and signed stock at 21 bookstores" will impress them.

So now you know as much as I know. And how was my day? I'm glad you asked.

After planning my route, I hit the road.

Waldenbooks in Mesa, signed 5 hardcovers, 5 paperbacks.

Borders in Mesa, signed 3 hardcovers, 6 paperbacks.

Borders in Tempe, signed 3 hardcovers, 5 paperbacks.

Changing Hands Bookstore in Tempe, signed 7 hardcovers, 1 paperback.

Borders in Chandler, signed 2 hardcovers, 4 paperbacks.

Barnes & Noble in Chandler, signed 3 hardcovers, 2 paperbacks.

Barnes & Noble in Phoenix, signed 3 hardcovers, 6 paperbacks, sold 2.

Waldenbooks on Southern, signed 8 hardcovers.

Borders on 74th, signed 6 hardcovers, 6 paperbacks.

Barnes & Noble in Gilbert, signed 2 hardcovers, 2 paperbacks.

SCARY STUFF--The computer at B&N in Gilbert said there were 4 copies of Whiskey Sour in the store. We could only find two. Turns out they stripped and returned the other two that morning.

Whiskey Sour came out in paper on June 24. So in less than a month, they were destroyed. Ouch!

I did a talk and a signing with the talented and charming Louise Ure (Forcing Amaryllis---which everyone should read) at The Poisoned Pen. We had a nice crowd, and Louise is 100% pro, even though her book has been out for less than a month. It was a pleasure sharing the spotlight with her.

Some friends came to the event, including fellow scribe Stacey Cochran and some folks I knew back when I was a waiter. Naturally, we went out afterwards for beer. Beer became tequila prairie fire shots, but I had to wuss out early (2AM) because I have to catch a plane in a few hours.

Tomorrow (er... later today) I'll be in San Diego, and I'll also blog about some fellow authors who are kicking major tail on the self-promotion front. You think I'm the only one pushing myself to the limit? Think again...

Day #5

Has it only been five days? Seems longer.

Got into San Diego around noon, picked up the rental car, checked into the slum that is the Westgate Hotel, and started the drive-bys.

Baja Books, signed 3 paperbacks.

B. Dalton on Horton, signed 2 hardcovers, 3 paperbacks.

Barnes & Noble on Hazard, signed 4 hardcovers, 6 paperbacks.

Barnes & Noble on Grossmont, signed 4 hardcovers, 8 paperbacks, sold 1.

Bookstar on Rosecrans, signed 2 hardcovers, 2 paperbacks.

Borders on Camino del Rio, signed 2 hardcovers, 6 paperbacks, sold 1.

Borders on 6th, signed 2 hardcvoers, 6 paperbacks.

Waldenbooks on Friars, signed 6 hardcovers, 6 paperbacks.

Then I got stuck in some serious rush hour traffic, and it took 90 minutes to get to my signing that night, at Mysterious Galaxy.

Huge crowd. The store was packed.

Unfortunately, they were all there to see Jeff Shelby. Jeff's novel KILLER SWELL (great debut, go buy it right now) just came out, and he'd apparently invited everyone he'd ever known since Kindergarten to the event.

Jeff's a great guy, and funny (much like his books), so we talked to the crowd for an hour and got some big laughs.

Then came an exercise in humility---sitting next to the guy who has a line of fifty people waiting for autographs, when you only have a line of three.

If you're a writer, get used to it. It will happen many times in your career.

The staff at Mysterious Galaxy was great, I signed over 50 books, and afterward went out to dinner with writer Douglas Gibbs and his wife, and writer Mario Avecedo.

Got home at 11PM, so tired I couldn't even blog. Had a fitful seven hours of sleep, and right after I finish typing this I'm off to LA for drive-bys (do they have drive-bys in LA?) and an event at The Mysterious Bookshop tonight at 7pm.

Hope to see some of you there!

FUN FACT ABOUT SAN DIEGO--It's in California.

TOUR RESULTS SO FAR: 54 bookstores visited. I'm on track to break 100. Place your bets...

Day #6

Not a very productive day today, due to L.A. traffic, which ranks just below kidney stones on my "Things I Hate" list.

Though I spent about 10 hours in the car, I only managed to visit 8 bookstores:

Borders Orange County, signed 1 hardcover, 6 paperbacks.

Barnes & Noble in Irvine, signed 3 hardcovers, 2 paperbacks.

Barnes & Noble #2 in Irvine, signed 4 hardcovers, 8 paperbacks.

Borders in Beverly Hills, signed 1 hardcover and 3 paperbacks.

Borders in Westwood, signed 2 hardcovers and 3 paperbacks.

Barnes & Noble in Westwood, signed 4 hardcovers (couldn't find the paperbacks... I fear they were stripped)

Barnes & Noble at Farmer's Market, signed 4 hardcovers, 6 paperbacks.

There were plenty of other stores I could have visited, but just didn't have the time.

My event tonight was at the Mysterious Bookshop in Westwood, and at 7:00pm I was greated by my throng of fan.

No typo there. One guy showed up (thanks, Stephen Blackmoore!)

That didn't discourage me, because, hey, one guy showed up. Steve's a writer too, and we talked shop for a while. He discovered me through my blog, which was a nice thing to hear---it's nice to know that my words are getting through to you folks. Or, at the very least, getting through to Steve.

Happily, the bookstore had a stack or pre-orders for me to sign, as well as a big pile of stock, which always makes me happy. It was great meeting the managers, Bobby and Linda. They're good people.

Then I signed the infamous Jail Register, a massive book that they've been keeping since the year 2000. Every author that comes in signs their name and vital stats, and everyone tries to be clever.

I saw a lot of famous names, which was cool.

I also saw many more names that I didn't recognize at all, which was very uncool.

I know quite a few folks in the writing community, but about 75% of those names were alien to me.

Hundreds of unknown writers. How many never wrote a second book? How many lost their publisher? How many are chugging along at book #7 and still midlist?

Five years from now, will I be one of the recognizable names, or one of the forgotten hundreds?
Scary, sobering stuff...

As I promised, I wanted to share with my blog readers (hi, Steve!) some names of other authors who also kick-butt on the self-promotion front, to prove that I'm not the only grunt in the trenches.

Barry Eisler has been touring for a solid month, driving coast to coast and visiting dozens of stores. He's also fitting in an occasional TV and radio gig. Barry is very savvy when it comes to promotion, and is a wealth of information and ideas when it comes to that subject. Most importantly, it's working for him. His driving tour is costing his publisher less than the flying/escort standard, but he's able to get more done.

Is it working? He's got a movie option, a Barry Award nomination (no relation), a second printing on his latest book, and he's an IMBA bestseller.

Julia Spencer-Fleming may actually be doing more than I do on the self-promotion front. Assisted by her marketing-genius husband Ross, Julia does drive-bys like crazy. She calls them 'force multipliers' (great term) and believes they've helped double the sales of her latest book at the chains. She also does massive mailing campaigns, and networks like crazy.

Is it working? She's an IMBA bestseller, is currently nominated for a Barry Award, and appeared on the Amazon top 25 for her latest book.

I'll list more authors tomorrow. Now. Must. Sleep...

FUN FACT ABOUT LOS ANGELES: The traffic sucks.

Day #7

Afraid of being stuck in LA traffic while my plane to San Francisco left without me, I got up three hours before my flight to drive the 13 miles to LAX.

I got there right on time, so naturally my flight was delayed for an hour.

After boarding, the plane did the runway shuffle for another 90 minutes. Upon completing our fifth circle of the airport, awaiting take-off clearance, the little girl sitting next to me turned to her mother and said, "Maybe the plane hasn't learned how to fly yet."

From hotel to hotel, the trip took nine hours. Next time I'll drive.

Of course, my publisher put me up in another nice hotel--The Hotel Monoco. Not quite as posh as Le Meridien of Beverly Hills where I stayed yesterday, but I'd be a fool to complain. I just wish I had time to enjoy these hotels...

The drive-by report:

Bookstore at LAX, signed three paperbacks.

Bookstore at San Francisco airport, signed and sold one paperback.

Borders on 3rd, signed 2 hardcovers, 5 paperbacks.

Barnes & Noble on Taylore, signed 2 hardcovers, 3 paperbacks.

Borders on Post, signed 5 hardcovers, 7 paperbacks.

San Francisco Mystery Bookstore, signed 3 hardcovers, 6 paperbacks.

A Clean Well Lighted Place for Books, signed 1 hardcover, 3 paperbacks.

My event was at M is for Mystery in San Mateo. I'd never been there before, but I met the lovely Ed Kaufman last year at the cocktail party Hyperion threw for Whiskey Sour's release.

Great store. And Ed's a great guy.

A handful of people showed up, and we formed a circle with our chairs and I spoke for an hour about my books, and publishing in general. The majority of them were writers, which makes me believe that my website and my blog are being read.

It also makes me proud to be a part of this business. I try to help writers, and in turn they come to my signings and help me by buying my books.

After signing a stack of 25 hardcovers and a few paperbacks, I promised Ed I'd drop by his booth at the 10th Annual Books by the Bay Festival tomorrow. Then the writers (Tammy Durston, Susan Tunis, and Ronald Cree) took me out for beer and food.

Ronald Cree just sold his first novel, a YA mystery called Desert Blood 10pm/9C and he's got the right attitude for the task ahead---work your butt off and make money for your publisher. I think he'll do fine. It's coming out in February and he's already planning for publicity and touring. Corner him at Bouchercon and say hello.

And as promised, here are more self-promoters that I admire:

David Ellis. Dave didn't tour for his latest book. Instead, he wrote 200 letters to reviewers and sent them out along with ARCs. It took a lot of work and research, but it paid off. Reviewers are flooded with books sent by publishers, but a major release sent by the author, complete with a personal, signed letter, got Dave noticed. In The Company of Liars had more reviews, and as a result higher sales, than his previous three novels. And the reviewers will remember him for his next novel.

Of course, it didn't hurt that the book (written entirely in reverse chronological order) is fabulous.

Dave has also revamped his website, and it's full of information and a lot of fun to surf.

PJ Parrish. Kristy and Kelly Montee write the Louis Kincaid series under the name PJ Parrish, and they do a lot of self-promotion. They tour. They attend conventions. They help run Sleuthfest, which is Florida's biggest mystery conference. And now, they also blog.

Drop by http://pjparrish.blogspot.com.

TOUR UPDATE-- I've visited 70 stores so far. Will I break 100 with only 4 days left in the tour?

You can check my progress in tomorrow's episode...

Day #8

No scheduled signings today, only drive-bys:

B. Dalton in 1 Embarcadero Center signed 2 hardcovers, 2 paperbacks, sold 2.

Borders on Winston signed 4 hardcovers, 6 paperbacks.

Waldenbooks in 4 Embaracdero Center, signed 3 hardcovers, 6 paperbacks. (They were closed, due to flooding, but let me in to sign. Hundreds of books were ruined by water damage, but mine were okay. Perhaps they should have a liquidation sale...)

Waldenbooks on Portal, signed 2 hardcovers, 5 paperbacks.

Stacey's on Market, signed 2 hardcovers, 2 paperbacks.

Cody's on Stockton--dropped by, but they weren't open.

Books Inc on Market, signed 1 paperback.

Barnes & Noble in Berkley, signed 4 hardcovers, 4 paperbacks.

Cody's on Telegraph, signed 2 hardcovers, 4 paperbacks.

Moe's in Berkley, signed 4 paperbacks.

Cody's on 4th, signed 2 hardcovers, 2 paperbacks, sold 1.

Borders on Shellmound, signed 3 hardcovers, five paperbacks, sold 1.

Waldenbooks on 14th street---closed ten minutes before I got there, dammit.

Barnes & Noble on Bay, signed 4 hardcovers, 6 paperbacks, sold 1.

Barnes & Noble on Broadway, signed 4 hardcovers, 6 paperbacks.

I also dropped by the 10th Annual Books by the Bay Festival and met authors Leslie Glass and Rhys Bowen--both very classy ladies (you must buy their books). I also met Dylan Schaffer, who beat me out for the Gumshoe Award and is also up against me for the Macavity. Great guy (and a great writer, buy his books). I wouldn't have found him if it wasn't for the savvy Susan Tunis (thanks, Susan!)

I spent a few minutes at the M is for Mystery booth and handsold 3 hardcovers and 3 paperbacks, and then I schmoozed other indie booksellers, including folks from Cody's, Stacey's, and the Alexander Book Company.

TOUR STATS: To date, I've signed roughly 740 books at 83 bookstores, and passed out 550 signed Whiskey Sour coasters to booksellers, fans, and customers. Each person who gets a coaster gets to hear my pitch.

Lee Goldberg asked if this is worth it, to which I whole-heartedly respond: I don't know.

I do know I've met some great people who will continue to sell my books after I've left. I know I've spread a lot of good will, got the word out there, and will be remembered. I know that it beats sitting at home and hoping my books sell on their own.

But is the result with the time, effort, and money put in?

Time will tell...

FUN FACT ABOUT SAN FRANCISCO: The hit song by the Village People, San Fransisco, was about San Francisco.

Day #9

Apparently, everything in Portland closes at 7pm, which put a serious crimp in my drive-by schedule.

I got up early to catch my flight to Oregon, only to watch it be delayed for an hour.

TOUR TIP #16: Don't fly if you can avoid it. My next tour will be more driving, less flying. Then I'll have more time to visit stores, and spend less time in airports being delayed.

That said, I got to Portland within an hour of my event at Murder by the Book, and had to hustle to make it in time.

I had an hour of solo, plus another hour with two other mystery writers, the talented Ron Lovell and the remarkable Shirley Tallman. Shirley impressed me so much with her wit, candor, and experience, that I plunked down the money for her historical mystery The Russian Hill Murders even though I've never bought a period book before in my life. If, like me, you thought historicals were slow-moving and sans action, think again---this one is a race car.

The event was well attended, and the owner, Carolyn Lane, was a great host who kept things moving at a good pace.

After signing twenty books, I got a lesson on Oregon hospitality. Barbara Tom, who works at MBTB, took pity on me when I lamented my lack of a GPS unit (the rental car company didn't have any) and offered to drive me to a nearby Best Buy so I could purchase one.

For all she knew, I might have been a violent maniac. But still offered to give me a lift since the store was closing in twenty minutes and I didn't know the area.

Turns out, Barb was the violent maniac. A believer in karma, Barb must have been a New York cabbie in a former life, because she drove like the car was on fire. We made it to the store in time, I plunked down some big bucks for a GPS, and then Barb topped her kindness by showing my where the local Powell's bookstore was, so I could do a drive-by.

Thanks again, Barb. You're good people.

I managed only four drive-bys, which meant I had time to relax and enjoy the lovely Heathman Hotel, right?

Wrong. I got back to my room and rather than unwind, I was up until the wee hours trying to figure out my new GPS toy and programming it for my car trip to Seattle the next day.

Drive-bys:

Powell's Portland Airport, signed 3 paperbacks.

Powell's on Hawthorne, signed 1 hardcover, 2 paperbacks.

Powell's on Burnside, signed 2 hardcovers, 2 paperbacks.

Borders on 3rd street--closed ten minutes before I got there.

TOUR SO FAR: I've signed 770 books at 87 bookstores. I have two days in Washington. We'll see what kind of damage I can do there.

FUN FACT ABOUT PORTLAND-- Portland has 37,000 acres of green parks, and they all close at 7PM.

COLLECTION UPDATE--With the Heathman, I've now acquired 28 little bottles of shampoo and conditioner, 12 bottles of hand cream, 32 bars of soap, two sets of ear plugs, two eye masks, seven chocolate candies, three sewing kits, and a complimentary bottle of spring water.

Plus seven hairdryers, six coffee makers, 19 towels, five robes, three clock radios, a lamp, and a framed Warhol litho.

And don't even get me started on the mini-bars. I totaled up the cost of all the goodies in the room, and they're worth over seventeen thousand dollars.

Hotels are cool.

Day #10

Leaving the Heathman Hotel was tougher than expected. Not because I was sad to go, but because they somehow had no record of me staying there, making it a bit difficult to check out.

That never got fully straightened out, even though I had plenty of time, because the valet had apparently parked my car in Amsterdam--that's about how long it took to find.

Since I was driving to Seattle, and had a noon signing, I didn't find any of this amusing.

When I finally did get my car back, I broke the land speed record for Chevy Malibus (almost 83mph) and made it to the Seattle Mystery Bookshop with twenty minutes to spare.

There was a big crowd---all there for Jasper Fforde, who was signing with me. I pitched my books to the folks waiting in Jasper's long line and managed to sell quite a few. I also had some actual fans come to see me, which is always nice.

Jasper was a pleasant enough guy, English, polite and quick with the quip. I bought a copy of his latest book. He didn't return the favor.

TOUR TIP #17: When doing a signing with another author, buy their book. This not only supports the bookseller, but your fellow authors.

I wound up signing 30 books, then sticking around and handselling the remainder of my paperbacks before hitting the drive-by trail:

Barnes & Noble on Pine, signed 4 hardcovers, 2 paperbacks.

Borders on 4th, signed 3 hardcovers---they couldn't find my paperbacks (stripped?)

B. Dalton in Factoria Square didn't have any books at all. I introduced myself to the employees and made sure they ordered some (should have phoned first.)

Waldenbooks on Pine, closed a few months ago (phone first.)

Borders in Bellevue, closed last month (dammit dummy, start phoning first!)

Barnes & Noble in Bellevue, 4 hardcovers, 4 paperbacks.

Borders in Redmond, 5 hardcovers, 5 paperbacks.

Barnes & Noble in Woodinville, 4 hardcovers, 3 paperbacks.

Barnes & Noble in Federal Way, signed 3 hardcovers, 4 paperbacks.

Borders in Federal Way, signed 2 hardcovers, 3 paperbacks.

Since my brother lives in Seattle, I decided to stay with him and save the publisher some cash.

TOUR TIP #18: Try to alleviate some of the publisher's touring expense when you can. I pay for my own food, extra gas, and never charge anything to the hotel rooms.

Apparently, I alleviated more cost than I thought. My publicist emailed, worried because i hadn't checked into the Heathman last night. This told me three things:

1. Your publisher is always watching you while you're touring.
2. My publisher seems to actually care about me.
3. The Heathman is run by a group of trained chimps.

TOUR STATS: I've signed 853 books at 96 bookstores, and have signed and handed out 700 coasters.

The GPS unit I purchased, a Garmin c330, is far superior to the rental units I've had. This thing comes preloaded with 5 million business addresses, and every map in the US. So when I'm driving, I can type in "Borders" and it lists them all within a hundred miles. This is much easier.

Next tour I'll do a lot more driving, hitting stores along the way, and much less air travel, which is expensive, exhausting, and a time waster. Had I driven this entire tour, it would have taken perhaps three more days, but I would have been able to visit 50 more stores. A much better bang for the buck.

Only four more stores to reach the exalted 100. We'll see what happens...

Day #11--Last Day of Book Tour

Today was an all drive-by day, no event signings scheduled.

I tell you, I question the wisdom of sleeping on my brother's couch vs. a bed in a 5 star hotel. Though I didn't get to enjoy the facilities at any of the hotels, they sure had nice beds.

My brother has a lumpy couch. Plus he's got one of those hairless Japanese dogs that heats up to about 120 degrees and likes to sleep on people's heads. Not the best night of sleep I've had on tour.

I woke up early, took the dog off my face, and began the drive-bys:

Borders in Tukwila, signed 3 hardcovers and 8 paperbacks.

Barnes & Noble in Tukwila, signed 4 hardcovers and 5 paperbacks.

Waldenbooks in Tukwila, signed 3 hardcoveras and 5 paperbacks.

Borders in Tacoma, signed 4 hardcovers and 15 papebacks, sold 1.

Waldenbooks in Tacoma, signed 2 hardcovers and 5 paperbacks, sold 2.

Whoddunit Books in Olympia, signed 1 paperback, but chatted witht he owner and she'll order many more.

B. Dalton in Olympia, signed 2 paperbacks.

Barnes & Noble in Olympia, signed 2 hardcovers and 10 paperbacks, sold 1.

Barnes & Noble in Lakewood, signed 4 hardcovers and 9 paperbacks.

FINAL TOUR TOTALS: I signed a total of 933 books at 105 bookstores, and passed out 775 signed coasters. I shook hands with over 300 booksellers and hundreds of customers and fans.

FINAL THOUGHTS: After hitting the 100th store, there was no ticker tape parade or round of applause. All I felt was tired, and somewhat overwhelmed. There are over 5000 bookstores in the US, and I'd only visited less than 2% of them. Does that make a difference? Will all of this hard work impact my numbers significantly?

Rather than be satisfied with a job well done, I can only think of the work left to do. I take the red-eye home tomorrow morning, but instead of going home I have an event in Wisconsin that night. Then, a day to play catch up (I'm judging a Writer's Digest contest) and then off to Michigan for a week for more drive-bys during my family vacation.

But I'm happy I hit my goal of 100, and I believe I've impressed my publisher, which is a good thing.

While the publisher sponsored part of the tour has ended, I'll continue touring for the rest of the year, doing events and drive-bys, getting my name out there.

But for the time being, I think I'll have a beer...

 

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