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THE PANELIST'S MANIFESTO

I've been to a lot of conventions, and I've been on a lot of panels. I've seen writers excel at their panel gigs, and I've seen writers fail miserably. A panel is a valuable opportunity to shine. Giving good panel will help fans remember you and your brand, which will lead to selling books. Barry Eisler has some guidelines for moderating panels, and I agree with his points. Many of these apply to being a panelist as well, but not all of them.

Here then is a Panelist's manifesto.

1. Be able to describe your book or series in 20 seconds or less. Whatever topic your panel is about, the ultimate reason you're at this conference is to self-promote. This is your chance to pitch the book to potential readers. Here's my pitch:

"My name is JA Konrath, and I write the Lt. Jacqueline "Jack" Daniels thriller series. The books are scary, like James Patterson and Patricia Cornwell, but funny like Evanovich and Dave Barry."

That's all you need. More than that, you'll lose your audience.

2. Once you've pitched your book, stop pitching your book. After you do your 20 second sound byte, stop trying to sell. Your job is to be entertaining. Focus on that. If a question directly pertains to one of your books, that's fine. If you want to make a point using one of your books, that's fine. But less is more. If you ramble too much about your books, the audience will lose interest.

3. Be funny. If you can't be funny, be brief. Studies have shown that if you can't get to the point in ten seconds, you've already lost your audience. (These studies were conducted by me, watching innumerable panels.)

The audience is interested in your answers, but only if those answers are entertaining. When you're on a panel, you're on stage. That means you're meant to perform. If you don't do well in front of an audience, let brevity be the true essence of wit.

4. About that brevity thing. Sometimes your answers may tend to run long. Try to curtail this. You think you're more interesting than you actually are. There can be anywhere from three to ten other panelists, and they all deserve equal time---don't infringe upon theirs.

5. Speak like a professional. Make sure you're loud enough so everyone can hear you. Avoid speech hesitations like um, ah, and uh. Sit up straight. Make eye contact with as many people in the audience as you can. Smile. Laugh. You should only speak if you have something to enhance the conversation. Many writers feel they have to get "their time in." If that time is boring, they're doing more harm than good.

6. Engage the audience. Public speaking isn't a monologue; it's a dialog where half of the conversation (the audience) isn't very vocal. But give and take is happening.

You want your audience to be responsive, to show their interest through body language. Do the people look bored? Get them to pay attention. Is someone burning to ask a question? Stop talking and let them ask it. Pay attention to their reactions and responses. Your responses won't be remembered, but your enthusiasm will be.

Be confidant, not cocky. Never talk down to an audience; always assume they are smarter than you are. Before a panel, I try to shake the hand of everyone in the audience, and hand out a signed coaster. This gets them on my side before I say word one.

7. Look professional. Dress for success. Appearance means a lot. Business casual or nicer. Pay attention to how you're sitting, and what you're doing, the entire time you're on the panel, even if you're not the one speaking.  No eating, chewing gum, drinking anything other than bottled water.

8. Know the topic, don't read the topic. You will be asked to appear on panels that have nothing to do with your books. This happens. When it does, you need to prepare beforehand and make sure you have something interesting to say about this topic. But DO NOT READ YOUR ANSWER!

It's okay to have notes, but once you start speaking, you must never refer to those notes. Reading is not engaging. Glancing down at a piece of paper is distracting to the audience.

9. Talk when you need to talk, but otherwise wait your turn. When the moderator, a panelist, or an audience member asks you something, you should always respond, but the length of the response should depend on if you truly have something to say about the topic. Just because you have the chance to speak does not mean you should speak.

Passing off questions to other people on the panel who might be better suited to answer them is a classy move. Interrupting other panelists constantly with your monologues is bad bad bad.

10. Interrupt when needed. Sometimes a panelist is monopolizing the panel, and the moderator isn't doing anything about it. Sometimes someone says something that screams for a response or a joke. Remember why you're there: to entertain. If you have a joke, say it. If you disagree with someone, start a polite argument then and there. It makes panels more interesting, and more fun.

Lee Goldberg is brilliant with one liners, and he always makes the panel fun. David Morrell isn't afraid to disagree with his fellow panelists, and this always makes the discussion more entertaining and exciting.

11. Help the moderator. Sometimes your moderator will suck. If the ship is sinking because the captain is incompetent, do something or you'll go down with the ship. Start asking questions of your fellow panelists, or of the audience. Interrupt the moderator if she's talking too much about herself, reading bios or questions, seems ill-prepared, can't keep the discussion going, or is otherwise crashing and burning.

Also, if the moderator doesn't say anything about herself (when I moderate, I rarely even introduce myself) it's a classy move to ask the moderator some occasional questions. If another panelist isn't getting a chance to speak, ask her questions to get her to speak. If another panelist is rambling, stop it somehow.

12. Bring copy of your book with you. Many in the audience won't know you, or your books. Having your book next to you will help them find it when they're back in the dealer room. It's subtle, subconscious brand reinforcement, and it links your face to your cover.

Some authors don't do this, because they don't like how it looks. My rule of thumb is: If at least one other author has their book propped up, you should too. But you don't want to be the only one with a book, because that looks needy. Consequently, being the only one without a book looks forgetful.

13. Stick around. If you did well, people will approach you after the panel has ended. They'll ask follow-up questions, bring you things to sign, or just want to shake your hand and tell you how much they enjoyed it. Bask in this, and thank them for coming. Also thank the moderator if they did a good job.

14. Get feedback. The best way to know how you did is to watch a videotape of it. You can learn a lot watching yourself. The next best way is to ask a member of the audience whom you trust. Ask how you could improve. Don't settle for less than the truth. We learn from criticism, not praise.

Remember that facts and opinions aren't interesting. Personality, humor, and conflicts are interesting. You're there to sell, but you shouldn't be selling, you should be entertaining. And if you're entertaining, you'll wind up selling.
 


You must answer yes or no or pick one of the choices offered. No maybes or I dunnos allowed. As Winston Churchill said: We've already established you're a whore, we're just quibbling over price...
 
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THE "ARE YOU A HACK?" QUIZ
  1. Is commercial success your goal?
  2. Would you ever write a movie or TV novelization?
  3. What's more important: Integrity or making a living as a writer?
  4. Do you rewrite based on editor or agent suggestions even if you don't entirely agree with those suggestions?
  5. Would you ever write an adaptation of a comic book or videogame?
  6. Would you ever change the ending of your book in order to make a sale?
  7. Would you write about something you didn't care about if you got a fat paycheck?
  8. If forced to choose, would you rather have artistic integrity or fame and riches?
  9. Would you rather be Dan Brown, author of The DaVinci Code, or Marilynne Robinson, winner of the 2005 Pulitzer Prize for Literature?
  10. Would you rather be known as a genius by hundreds of people, or mediocre by millions of people?
  11. Would you ever write for a character you didn't create?
  12. What's more important: Getting the words right, or getting the words sold?
  13. Would you write in a genre you don't enjoy for a lot of money?
  14. Have you ever submitted something that you know isn't your best work in order to make a deadline?
  15. What is more important: Fans or awards?
  16. Would you rather have a bestseller that is critically panned, or a poor seller that is critically praised?
  17. Would you ever ghost-write another author's series?
  18. Did this quiz amuse you, or annoy you?

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ANSWERS

Webster defines a hack as: a writer who works on order; also : a writer who aims solely for commercial success.

To grade this test, check your answers with the key below, and keep track of how many times you scored as a "HACK" and how many times you scored as an "ARTIST."

  1. Yes - HACK. No - ARTIST
  2. Yes - HACK. No - ARTIST
  3. Making a living - HACK. Integrity - ARTIST
  4. Yes - HACK. No - ARTIST
  5. Yes - HACK. No - ARTIST
  6. Yes - HACK. No - ARTIST
  7. Yes - HACK. No - ARTIST
  8. Fame & riches - HACK. Integrity - ARTIST
  9. Dan Brown - HACK. Marylinne Robineson - ARTIST
  10. Medicore - HACK. Genius - ARTIST
  11. Yes - HACK. No - ARTIST
  12. Words sold - HACK. Words right - ARTIST
  13. Yes - HACK. No - ARTIST
  14. Yes - HACK. No - ARTIST
  15. Fans - HACK. Awards - ARTIST
  16. Critically panned bestseller - HACK. Critically acclaimed poor seller - ARTIST
  17. Yes - HACK. No - ARTIST
  18. Doesn't count.

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SCORING

  • 0-1 HACK answers: you are an ARTIST whose integrity is solid.
  • 2-3 HACK answers: you are an ARTIST who realizes that publishing is a business
  • 4-5 HACK answers: you have some artistic integrity, but you'd rather make a living
  • 6-14 HACK answers: you are a hack, but may have some integrity left
  • 15-17 HACK answers: welcome to hacksville, population: you

THE FASTPRINT CHRONICLES

Struggling authors often ask me if they should self-publish. I'm always hesitant to answer. I have several writer friends who have successfully self-published, and with excellent results. Unfortunately, they're the exception rather than the rule.

Many of the self-published books I've seen are poorly edited, overpriced, and shoddy-looking. Authors pay a lot of money, and end up with cases and cases of books they can't sell. Self-published books don't get reviewed (a huge source of publicity), and self-published books aren't returnable, so the major distributors and bookstores don't carry them.

A new type of vanity publisher called POD (print on demand) uses cutting edge technology to create books one at a time. But because they get their money from the author, rather than from the reader, they have no stake in whether or not the book is successful. The writer, not the book-buyer, is the customer, so POD companies tend to publish anything, no matter how poorly written. If you have five hundred bucks and a few pages of gibberish, they'll gladly take your money and publish your work.

In short: you pay a lot of money, and are stuck with something you'll never sell.

Need proof to see how unscrupulous these outfits are? Click on the book below to download The FastPrint Chronicles.

The story is 100% true.

It's also pretty funny.
 

 

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